Zen and the Pursuit of Simplicity

My sister is bummed about Mother's Day this year, even though she is the one who still speaks to our mother (not so much because she wants to or enjoys it or even respects the lady).  It's funny, because I just wish I was in Missouri right now so that I could go have lunch with my grandma, that's the only thing I miss or yearn for.  Maybe I'm heartless, I don't know, but considering the pain she intentionally inflicted on my family and the choices she has made in the past couple of years, I feel it a blessing, actually, that my mother is not in my life.  I think it's important to cut out the poisonous things, and she most certainly was poisonous.

Otherwise.

Today is laundry and reading (Their Eyes Were Watching God .. so excited) and dishes and kitchen-cleaning and bathroom-cleaning and putting away all my clothes (I've gotten careless and they have made their way to each room on my first floor) and I'm baking muffins and I plan to throw things away. 

Ooh, and I shaved my legs.  That was a big thing.

Today will be productive, I swear.

So.

I was talking to my sister earlier about weddings and whatnot because her mother is getting married and I was all, “Yeah, don’t take it personally, but if I ever get married I don’t think you’ll probably be in attendance.”  I mean, I’ve been proposed to twice* and both times it never crossed my mind to even tell my family, much less to invite them to the impending ceremony because I seriously hate that shit where people claim they have a wedding to share their love with others.  Meanwhile, no one seriously gives a fuck about your happiness, I can tell you that right now.  (Yeah, I’m a ball of joy, I know.)  Anyway, my sister replies, “Yeah, I never expected to se your wedding anyway.  I mean, cuz you probably won’t ever get married or else you’ll do some destination wedding in Zambia.”

…. I don’t know if I should take that as she thinks I’m a strong black woman who doesn’t adhere to standard social practices or that she thinks no one will ever love me.  I’d like clarification.  (Yo, but she was dead-on about the Zambia thing .. I’d be down.)

*with rings and sincere intentions

Or maybe people actually watch this show, I don't know.  I don't have a television.  But what I do have is stolen internet, so I waste half an hour a week (or enhance half an hour a week) watching Samantha Who.  Pretty great.

Show us your favorite tool.
Submitted by Maraschino.

Air pressure gauge

How many pair of shoes do you have? Out of those pairs, how many do you wear more than a few times a year?
Submitted by fightinggale.

Eh, I'll take the bait.  This question was made for me.  I have roughly 40 pairs of shoes in total.  I think that I wear 38 of them more than a few times a year.  I am contemplating getting rid of a few, for sure, but it's difficult for me to part with them.  What's funny is that I think I've purchased probably 30 of them in the past year .. My name is Stella and I have a problem.

Show us your bible.
Submitted by Connie.

Perezhilton

I'm so obnoxious, but this is the most important thing that has happened to me all day.

A long convo about assassins

Update: 
Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1) - Cite This Source - Share This as·sas·sin  - noun

1.	a murderer, esp. one who kills a politically prominent person for fanatical or monetary reasons.

Spose this could lend itself to the idea that every tyrant is an assassin because it states that the killing would be done for "fanatical ... reasons".  I guess that the general public typically thinks of an assassin solely as someone who sought out to kill a political leader.  I still think it's a reach using Hitler and the KKK, but who am I?

Here’s why I’m worthwhile:

• I go to museums even though I don’t “get” most art, and I typically find it dull after seven minutes.  But I try.
• I read really interesting literature.
• I go to plays put on by community theater groups because I love the idea of supporting the arts.
• When I do drink, I drink expensive tequila.  Somehow this makes me a worthy opponent.
• I like math and I love teaching you math.
• I don’t run out of stories because my life is like a serious ongoing joke.
• Despite this “ongoing joke” (or possibly due to it), I find humor in everything both inside and outside of my life.
• I’m the best proofreader you’ll ever run across in your personal life because I live and breathe grammar – trust me, this will come in handy for you.
• Your friends will like me and I’ll pretend to like them because despite how much people irk me, ultimately, I’m fascinated.
• I have a blog.  Clearly awesome.
• I’ve been through, like, everything – twice – so I can’t judge and I don’t get alarmed and I overlook major faults and this is probably why all my relationships fail because I just go ahead and give others the benefit of the doubt.
• I’m learning how to be that awesome girls who cooks breakfast for houseguests even though breakfast in and of itself makes me physically ill.
• I’m giving and forgiving and naïve enough to believe that people can just ultimately be good.  And despite everything bad that happens, I hold tight to the conviction that I can surround myself with others who are conscientious of these ideals and won’t take advantage of them.
• I can discuss a wide range of matters with intellect, feigned or genuine.
• I can make a list of reasons why I’m worthwhile and truly believe every bullet point on it and bounce back from even the silliest of hurts to reclaim my life with vigor.