Stella Bella Hella Umberella (Ella Ella Aye Aye Aye)’s Friends and Family

Denmark in a nutshell

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:01:52 -0700

Me: Have you noticed that everyone is wearing helmets on their bikes all of a sudden?

Danish coworker: Especially in Østerbro [the yuppie neighborhood where we reluctantly live]

Me: I keep thinking I need to start wearing one.

Danish coworker: Yeah, I’m to the point where I wish they would just make it illegal not to wear one, so I would have to.

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ain't no tuition for having no ambition/ain't no loans for sittin' yo ass home

nobody@vox.com(texas crude) — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 22:35:39 -0700

Sigh. I got back from France a couple of days ago only to see my kid brothers back to school. It feels odd. I'm so use to the shtick of setting the alarm at 6:30 but wake up at 8:00, fail to look in the mirror, go downstairs, eat crap of a meal and report to school. For financial reasons, I'm not going to grand old college until spring.

On a Jez thread a week or so ago the question of college or no came up and I realized that I so desperately wish vocational programs were pushed to be as much of an option as college. For some of us who are ridiculously po', sometimes even with the scolarships that come with the good grades and sparse loan, college just isn't in the cards. My mom's a single parent and her living situation at the moment is very Charlie Bucket, living with eight people. If I wanted to go to a decent school, I'd have to start hooking and sell the cows and the chickens and my grandpa to shill for one semester.

Money aside, with all these fun learning disorders I realized I had in the damned spring semester of senior year that with a proper diagnosis, turned out to be Asperger's Syndrome, the college hope seems bleak. It fucked me over and irreversibly stunted my progress so putting myself back into the system that I had goddamn claw my way out of (seriously, from all this bellyflopping I did from grade to grade, not even clown college would open my application at this point) seems like a damned nightmare.

I feel like maybe I should make like Frenchy and go to beauty school. And I won't drop out, I swear. Besides, I think I'd be ten times happier working a trade than slaving to make A's in a lit class towards an MFA that won't even guarantee a job. Well, shit.

Sage advice is encouraged, fellow "grown-ups"

Gah. This post was depressing. I need to listen to some Mariah Carey and blow this shit away with unicorns, butterflies and flowers. Yes.

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Mirror, Mirror

nobody@vox.com(kristina-uncensored) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:22:34 -0700

How many times a day do you look in the mirror?

If you know anything about me, you know that my mirror and I are best friends. We go way back to when I first discovered flavored lip gloss and cherry chap sticks. As we grew up thru 6 inch bangs that needed to be checked *that’s bigger than some men penis’s sadly, and pimples that needed to be popped, I was very close with my mirror.

I’ve had this particular mirror for about a year and a half now. it was off of an old compact. I just broke it off and continued to use because though the compact was done, the mirror continued to serve its purpose.

When I arrive at work everyday, I check myself in the mirror. Now if you’re around me enough- you should pick up on the little gesture I do in the mirror. My best friends say I’m posing…but I don’t know. It’s this little look I guess. I mean , when you are looking people, you don’t always have the same expression each time, right? So maybe I’m giving the mirror different expressions to see that lipstick is perfect each time…* who cares what I’m doing…LOL

Last week, I pulled the mirror at work and an hour later I lost it.

I couldn’t find it for a whole week. I started to think it was with my brothers sweater, or even worse- next to a good stash of brie, but then I started maybe someone was messing with me and they know how much I look in my mirror so they took it.

My co-worker convinced me otherwise and told to check my loads of work on my desk and that it could be there. I knew that when I left on Friday that I didn’t find it but I’d give it another look. Low and behold, there it was in between the desk and the wall. It had fallen.

So I send my co-worker this email entitled, “Reunited and It Feels Soooooo Good..” and I told her I found my mirror. LMAO…

I’m one of those people who puts on their makeup while my cars warms up so I was so excited to know that I didn’t have to use the rearview again. This morning I blast the heat for Gabby, make sure my coffee mug has its lid on, made sure I had my gym jacket, turned down the sound of the radio so Gabby didn’t have to hear the T-Man and I went to go pull out my make up bag.

And what falls out?

My mirror.

Right in between the seat and the middle console.

I can’t reach it.

Ain’t this a bitch.

I didn’t have anything long enough to push it out.

*if I slam on the brakes hard enough, will the mirror come shooting out?

To the rear view I go, hoping my eyeliner isn’t crooked and that I didn’t miss a portion of my cheek when I applied the powder….

As I get to work today, I share with my co-worker that my mirror is in fact not within my reach and “HOW AM I GONNA PLUCK LATER”…..

I guess it could be worse. *like my eyeliner breaking when I have nothing else to left to sharpen….

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100 days til the election

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 09:06:12 -0700

And I still haven't seen the headline "McCain: Able?" anywhere. What are we, above Bible-murder-puns now?

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Eat me

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 08:59:52 -0700

It took us a week, but we finally unscrewed Le MRE

Jutland: 'It tastes like Foot Broth'

Bornholm: 'The trick is to rinse the meat with your tongue before you swallow'

Kenya: 'Just because your country's obese doesn't make you connoisseurs. Pass the duck Jello.'

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QotD: There's No Place Like Home

nobody@vox.com(kristina-uncensored) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 05:12:16 -0700

What's your definition of home?
Submitted by NayNay72

Ever since I've been single, I'm still trying to figure that out. I've kind of bounced around from my parents to my shitty apartment....

But in my ideal home, I'm not sure if a husband awaits me.But I know I will be doing dishes one day and I will hear kids running in the drive way screaming, "Mommy, Mommy, the ice cream truck is outside" and it will be Gabby and her little brother or sister. Gabby will be teaching them how to jump rope and ride a trike through the neighborhood.

Then I will call them in for dinner, have them wash up and enjoy a wonderful home cooked meal and listen to my kids stories from school that day about how the teachers are mean, the one student is always a bully and can I buy them the latest, hottest new school shoes.

I will give them advice on how to handle the bullies, tell Gabby to ask her father for money cuz Mommy's broke,and then enjoy family time in my medium size family room that may not have a big screen in it because not having a big screen doesn't make you an inadequate parent. It'll just mean that your kids might wear glasses cuz they'll be squinting.

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I had this exact conversation last week

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 03:12:27 -0700

From Overheard in the Office:

Coworker: So I told our new accountant what I needed, and he looks at me and says: "But this will take me all day." I told him: "It takes me all day to do my job too. Did you have other plans?"

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yes.

nobody@vox.com(texas crude) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:57:39 -0700

More at XKCD! Visit! You won't regret it! Math! Science! Buffoonery!

Nightmares

Code_talkers

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this stuff is starting now

nobody@vox.com(texas crude) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:59:27 -0700

Two very great things born in the summer of 1990: Mariah Carey's career, Mo Edward. You welcome. The week of birth is shared with "Vision of Love" going to number 1.

FourFour has finally captured the essence of Mimi and why I love her so much. Here. And wear a pair of depends.

MARIAH CAREY IS...

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Olympic athletes: Going for the gold in bearding

nobody@vox.com(Rottin' in Denmark) — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 05:17:46 -0700

Yes, it is thunderous bullshit that NBC whitewashed dive-dude’s boyfriend out of their coverage. Resolved.

But I couldn’t help but notice this paragraph in the same post

According to OutSports.com, of the 10,708 athletes at the Olympics this year, just 10 have identified themselves publicly as being gay. Of the 10, Australian diver Matthew Mitcham is the only male gay athlete.

10 gay athletes? In a competition that not only includes male diving but women’s baseball? And, for that matter, France?

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