I don't watch much television and I certainly don't watch American Idol, but I happened to be sitting in my friend's house last night gorging myself with Chinese food and I caught bits and pieces. In what I caught, I fell in love with this kid David Archuleta. Alongside his obvious talent, he just seems like this incredible kid, the kind that you really hope your kids turn out to be. The thing Paula says at the end about dangling him from her rearview mirror, that's kinda creepy, though. Anyway, I'm not one to gas Idol contestants, but this kid is just .. give it a watch.
"Let me just say this .. if you're 70 years old and you're tryna go to Alcoholics Anonymous, why not just rock it out, y'know? I mean, fuck it." - my friend's analogy to why he will not learn how to type correctly
Also, can I just note that we're so nerdy that we got drunk on (bad) white wine and decided the best (best!!) thing on television was the Democratic debate. I love my life.
But
Yes.
Teen boy #1: You had sex?
Really?
Teen boy #2: Hell yeah, I did.
Teen boy #1:
Was it like West Virginia?
Teen boy #2: Huh?
Teen
boy #1: You know, 'Wild and Wonderful'!
Teen boy #2: ...
Dude, that's gay.
Frederick, Maryland
via Overheard
Everywhere, Feb 20, 2008
Despite being a self-proclaimed classy broad and amazingly awesome in every way, I'm pretty much a spaz when it comes to talking to new potential suitors on the phone. It's not that I'm nervous, it's that I feel the need to fill in every bit of silence for no good reason.
Okay, I just convinced myself it's quasi-nervousness. Glad I worked through that.
"Hey, Marcy?"
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, hey, it's Stella. I just realized when I left the bar last night that I didn't leave you a note letting you know that the Circus Boy keg was kicked."
"Oh yeah, okay, I'll got check in the back to see if there's another one but I don't think there is. Thanks for the head's up .. hey, are you sick?"
"I mean, a little, but I'm feeling a lot better since yesterday."
"You know what I took that fuckin helped when I was sick for two weeks was that, um, Tylenol Extreme."
"Hmmmm that sounds intense."
"Remember when I smashed my truck into someone after I ran a red light and they sped off?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, well I was on that Tylenol Extreme then."
"..."
"That shit will fuckin leave you on your ass, but it makes your head so clear."
So I'm not taking Tylenol Extreme ....
Dear Guy Who Came to Work All Week With Pneumonia,
Fuck. You.
Because of your dire need to come to work and sit in the next room over heaving like an eighty-year old veteran and coughing like your lung is only milliseconds from detaching itself and projectile exiting from your mouth, I am now sick. You had better be thankful that I'm too impaired to walk and that a massive snowstorm has decided to envelop New England, thus rendering me unable to hit New York for the weekend, because otherwise the blame would have lain entirely on you if my weekend was shot due to my feverish state. You, asshole, are the reason that I cannot think, save for this diatribe because I am so fueled with anger, because my head is so heavy. I am sentenced to a three-day weekend in my bed mashing up chicken noodle soup to drink down since my tonsils are the size of Montana. Thanks to you. And all of this means that I will lose three more days of my life feeling like I would welcome death for a moment of relief all because you thought it necessary to bring to my place of work your cesspool of germs.
In closing, I hope one of your testicles is somehow dismantled from you body in the upcoming days. You are a selfish bastard, and fuck you.
Kisses,
The Pretty, Un-Pregnant, SICK Girl from Work
Anyone else think McCain's wife looks like some chick in a movie who we'll eventually figure out is a zombie?
Either way.
I'm really just interested in going home and not being cold anymore. I want to snuggle up in my blanket and clean my bathroom and sleep in my big, fat bed.
You know how Fark is just all around sweet cuz homeboy pops off on the sheer idiocy of news and the people represented in it? I opened MSNBC per ushe and jus got mad hateful today - thought I'd share.
