Posts
Currently getting my world rocked by insurance, both medical and auto. Would much rather go without both ...
nicholas: well ur from the midwest
me: yeah, that shit's kinda normal
nicholas: i feel like cable and color tv didnt get there till 98
me: shut up
me: i had 2 channels growing up. 3 sometimes
me: people reference what should have been my childhood fav tv shows and i'm clueless
me: i mostly play along tho
me: i have never seen a sesame street episode
me: (i've never admitted that)
me: i know roughly what it is, but that's it's
me: it*
nicholas: sesame street was weird to me
nicholas: u didnt miss anything
nicholas: something didn't seem right about that show and like chapelle said u notice all the fucked up shit about childhood shows when u get older
me: WORD
me: my x-bf's daughter would religiously watch spongebob squarepants
me: she was 4
me: and i watched some of the episodes w/ her and i basically flipped shit on him like .. WHY ARE YOU LETTING HER WATCH THIS SEXUALLY EXPLICIT MATERIAL!!!??!?
nicholas: sponge bob stays with the sexual humor
I've had the same sandwich for lunch 7 days in a row and counting and I'm not tired of it yet, not even a little. Toasted wheat bread, avocado, tomato, lettuce, swiss cheese, and honey ham. Scrumptious.
Mady Confucius-y with it. You'll be surprised to know that I have never read Kant nor Neitzsche and my degree .. not in philosophy.
"Daddy, where's an eraser?" - Boss' kid
"Don't make mistakes, sweetie ... JUST KIDDING!!" - Boss
That's low-key hilarious just because he could be the typa dude who says something like that.
Other items for today:
- Who the fuck is Laura Bush to be commenting on Supreme Court nominations? That's the equivalent of, "Hey, I looked at the White House once, here's what I think about the situation ...." Motherfucker look. I don't buy that shit that because your spouse is a politician you picked up their game. I'm from Missouri, and even as a staunch democrat I wasn't down with Gov. Mel Carnahan's wife taking his seat after he posthumously won a Senatorial race cuz what the fuck did she know? Nadda.
- I got up at 5:10 this morning for work. This means I have a strong desire to keep my job because mama does NOT see pre-8 for nothin. I left by 5:30 (in sweat, no doubt) to deliver some items to a vendor about 20 miles away, got in 30 minutes of cardio, and rocked it out at the bank. I had a whole day before I got to work, and I really don't like it. Basically I'm going to spend the rest of the day hating my life then will want to go to bed immediately after I return home.
- I'm that dude who is in love with Whole Foods. Hate that yuppie kind of shit, and I'm definitely not rich enough to even consider shopping there once a month, but I dig the idea. Got some sick trail mix at the Trail Mix Bar (I love aptly named things)
- There is a photographer in the office today taking pictures of us interacting with our product and whatnot for marketing materials. My current "solution" to my lack of photogeneity. PS - Guys, that's a word cuz I Googled it and it corrected me an everything.
- After our session, my trainer, her friend, and I hung out and watched a sick zumba class wherein the teacher had a bangin body and was so fucking energetic that even though I had just repped the shit out of some weights for the past hour and a half, I wanted to go join. I fell in love with that lady, and I'm pretty sure I'm going to dream about her for days.
- I'm basically sitting in my office wanting to go to sleep. No idea how I'm making it to 5. Maybe I won't (how ominous).
I just made a pretty crappy attempt at going blond, really to no avail.
I watched He's Just Not That Into You today, after having read the book several years ago. It's a shitty movie - don't go see it - but a really good message. I mean, clearly the book it over-the-top, that's what it's about. For god's sake, it's written by the folks who did Sex in the City, so if you're expecting normalcy you're barking up the wrong tree. Anyway, despite that, it's a really good message, and one that women really need to hone in on. I've definitely held onto dudes for way too long who obviously aren't that into me, so .. yeah.
Yesterday. Oh yesterday. Yesterday was epic in its failures. I sat on the side of the road for two hours in Cape Cod without my wallet and out of gas. Those of you not familiar with Massachusetts geography ... Cape Cod is not in or near Boston. I mean, relatively, I guess, but not when 98% of the people you know don't have cars and public transportation doesn't even come close to reaching it (AKA 60 miles from home). Oh, and my phone was on its last bar. At this point, I'm writing a stupid Vox entry so it goes without saying that I'm alive. I'm too just over it to go through the details, but suffice it to say that I sent many a text saying, "There are tons of bad movies that start this way ..." as my phone died. I magically found a phone charger in my car and the nice (but creepy) gas-bringer-guy gave me $5 to go to then nearest gas station to get a few extra gallons so I could get home. It was 9 PM and he kept telling me how pretty I am and that he didn't want me stuck in "these parts" ... I'm not kidding that at one point I thought he was going to ask me for head in exchange for help. Look, because I'm dramatic and because he kept telling me I'm so pretty. It was pretty much a high point of ridiculosity, plus an incredibly Stella moment. Who else does this shit happen to?
Oh, but then.
So I'm home for 15 minutes after this debacle and the friend I'd been texting/talking to most of the 2 hours had just been in a car accident wherein a drunk driver ran into her on the highway and totaled her car. So she calls to have me come pick her up since it happened near my house, and, guys .. not pretty. Definitely luck of lucks that she was fine. We eventually went to the hospital for precautionary reason and didn't get home until four, nothing wrong but a cut on her foot. Spent today just chillin at her house going to her car at the tow lot (and getting hit on by the two guy .. guys, this is a constant thing for me, seriously, very specific to men and tow truck agencies) and calling the insurance people and the police station, etc. Plus, hi, that was a pretty traumatic situation, so we dealt with that a little bit ... but guys, seriously. A drunk driver hit her car. I literally wanted to drive up to that accident and find the fucker and yell at him like his mother obviously do enough of when he was a child. Too bad he broke his fucking face on the windshield upon impact and they'd already taken him to the hospital.
Look, my yesterday ... I texted all of the above (plus actual details and in real time) to my BFF in Missouri and he comes back at me with a, "Babe you better start burning shit and finding things to sacrifice to the gods cuz seriously. Say 'Uncle' already." I was all, "Dog, I'm headed to church tomorrow."
But guys. I'm seriously maybe headed to church, because as much as those two paragraphs really are my life, I'm too exhausted with myself to really give details these days. I'm so tired of me, and everything I just relayed didn't do a damn bit of justice for it. All in retrospect, since everyone's alive, it's fine and watered down, but think about it: what do you do with no wallet, no phone, no gas, stuck in your car literally a foot off the side of a random highway and 60 miles from home? Cuz I experienced that until the magical charger showed up in my car. And then a drunk driver slams into your friend on the highway. And this a single day after your aging grandmother fall in them middle of a store and breaks both her shoulders and her arm and given her heart and other assorted medical troubles, the prospect of surgery looks, well, unpleasant. I'm just sayin. Not a Jesus kind of girl, and it would be fake of me to act like I am, but I'm in some desperate need of spirituality and an increase in calm, that's for damn sure.
Would you rather be rich or famous?
Rich
Beautiful and dirty, dirty rich.
You wouldn't know by how I have this silly blog and a Twitter and whatnot, and especially considering how loud I am all the time, but all in all I'm a fairly private person.
"Every beautiful woman will have a gay best friend helping her along the way." - Danielle, Real Housewives of New Jersey
Wow.
I just ready this entry I wrote on my Virgin flight the other day and I canNOT believe how funny I think I am. This has to do with the bottle of wine I just drank, I get it, but seriously??!? I crack myself up. Good thing that's my entire goal for life (since all y'all else FAIL most of the time* at making me double over in laughter) cuz I'm sort of hitting the jackpot. Awesome to be meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
*Five minutes later I realize that I *very seriously* said "y'all else" but I refuse to fix it .. mostly because I still think it's right since I'm that fucking much from the ghetto. Like I said, making myself laugh. And obviously embarrassed.
Guys, I'm pretty sure of a couple of things:
1) I'm more impressed with Kobe Bryant than I have been in about 6 years. Back in the day, I was a fiend. I kind of jumped off for a minute, especially with college and then the drug thing and then the affection for Boston sports .. yeah, but so I'm watching the NBA finals and I remember how much I seriously revere (and wanna fuck) this dude. I'm the typa person who falls in love with someone for something absolutely menial, and for Kobe it's that look he gets when he plays basketball. It's not even explainable, but the fierce and ferocious look is .. damn.
2) Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson might be back together. Ish.
